One week. It’s been one week since we’ve had A/C in the house. It’s been in the 100’s with heat advisories. It’s currently 93 inside with temperament advisories. There’s a 140 pound DaneMastiff with diarrhea under threat of dehydration, and a husband to match. Testy. Things are become testy. Even my writing is clipped. Too shallow of breath for run-on sentences.
Fans don’t cool you.
This I know. They move the hot around. There is a big difference! The only way for a fan to “cool” you is to stand perpetually wet and naked in front of it. This I also know. However the last 2 days has seen workers in and out and around the house. Common sense tells me keep my shorts on. Bra is still optional. Thank you, common sense (or what is left of it. Heat has a way of tinkering with your brain).
What was I writing about? Ah, yes. My testy tits. No, feet! NO! ….. AIR!!!!
I need air. It comes with a price tag. $26,000. New HVAC. (Did I mention I’m on strike? No work? And truth be told, HAVEN’T worked since 2022).
(Checks her SAG/AFTRA residuals queue: My first laugh of the day as I see the always hilarious $0.01 check which will take up to three months to get to me and cost 500 times the amount to process it. That $ sign is a sick trick. There’s NO DOLLAR! Rant. Spew. STRIKE!)
What was I writing about?…..
The world is on fire!
The temperature maps are ablaze with red. Hot zone color. Orange is scarce. Yellow looks like pee holes in the snow. Ahhh snow! I’ve never seen it like this. My hot feet tell me that if this continues, human evolution will no doubt see some version of scales grow. Something akin to a snake. We’ll no longer need to kill snakes for fancy boots to fulfill our Jason Aldean fantasy (← no such thing…).
Where was I? Oh yeah. We should never kill snakes for boots. Or otters for hats. Leave the animals alone. They’ve got shit to teach us. Most definitely about survival, and we sure as hell are going to need those skills! Science says sooner than we thought! But what does science know….(A LOT!! and they ask great questions).
Am I still writing? Hang on. Knock at the door. Keep your cool, Mo! (snark)
Are you ready for this? A sweet boy just came to the door asking if I was selling the 1976 Wildwood trailer in our driveway. I WASN’T!!!! But I DID. I JUST DID! Unloading seems like a cooling option at this juncture! Lighter = cooler, right? What would science say? His Dad was in a truck. He wants to go camping with his Dad. $300. A STEAL!!! If it was cool out it would go for $3,000. My open pores said LET THE SWEET FATHER/SON HAVE IT!! It was approximately 120 degrees in the trailer. Packed my malachite dish set. Wiped down the formica. Kissed it goodbye. Please don’t come to my door right now. I can’t afford to lose more. (Everything is weird right now, isn’t it? Did you see McConnell’s brain wiped clean yesterday? Wo. Thought the moment should’ve doubled as his resignation speech, but that’s just me. Medical science might also agree)
Okay. WHY am I still writing? And AM I going to post this. I am soaking wet. Where’s the fan?
When I was 17-20 I biked everywhere. I even trained with my racer boyfriend. I tried one race and it was a living hell. Was hoping for some “Breaking Away” (1979) experience, but once I realized the classical music wouldn’t follow me the whole way, I was a crumbling, ugly-crying mess. Still, I biked EVERYWHERE!! Carried my bike up to my 4th floor brownstone apt. FIT!!! But I never sweat. I wasn’t functioning properly. My natural cooling system failed me. I hated it. I wanted that sweat! Proof of my exertion. Didn’t come. Just a purple face. Good for me. Congrats, Mo. NOW?? I sweat. I literally am soaking wet. Right now. It is a true, glistening, all over ,dripping sweat. I’m winning!! And at times like this moment, I still have enough curiosity at 58 to be fascinated by it. I’m so wet (calm down…) and curious, that I am choosing NOT to jump into the pool for respite. I want to see where this goes. I’m like a biology experiment. (addendum/edit- it went nowhere. It went to jump in the pool. It puts the lotion in the…)
It’s fucking hot. What are you reading? Why are you reading this?
There’s no point to this post, unless there is.
What is the point.
THERE IS A POINT!! My feet are HOT! The world is sweating its balls off! And we MUST stop doing just the small stuff to effect change in our climate. It is time we all start advocating for big solutions. Not by 2050. Not by 2040! Now. Or we’ll all be walking on scorched Earth with our snake feet. Not sexy. And far, far from cooooool.
I hear you. Why 2050? So the capitalist pigs can continue to profit until they croak, but do they really think they have this much time? Love your open and honest words, Mo. ❤️