Doom. I can’t shake this feeling of doom!! Maybe it’s just winter. Maybe it’s the dark cloudy days, the cold.
Maybe it’s my inherent depression.
Maybe it’s the lingering worry of the collapse of our democracy. The SCOTUS that picks the nits off a corrupt ex President and eats them right in front of us. Without apology or care. Trump’s dirty. No matter how much you try to clean him.
Maybe it’s because tomorrow starts Women’s History month, and that seems fruitless too. As they throw us in the river like filthy wash, beating our goodness and resolve against the rocks. And yet she persisted… Yes. Of course. But come the fuck ON!!! (On this note: I did one job on camera last year. A short film called Red, White and Blue. It’s about the consequences of losing Roe V Wade. It’s incredibly impactful…and we’re up for an Oscar. We should win. ESPECIALLY because it’s Women’s History month)
Maybe it’s because on the daily we scroll through COUNTLESS images of needless, unwarranted massacres, knowing where the finger should be pointed for blame, yet it continues. Women should run the world. I’ve said this before.
Maybe it’s because the world has indulged Putin, ONE FUCKING MAN, at the expense of so many. Normalizing war, throwing our arms up collectively screaming “HE IS SO AWFUL!!!!” So why is he allowed to live? Why do we let him? Where is our humanity, REALLY?
Maybe it’s because my Dad is undergoing another procedure today because they flubbed up on the first one last week. He’s 86, and otherwise in perfect health. DON’T FLUB UP!!!!!!! FIX HIM!!!
Maybe it’s because my body has new aches and pains and abnormalities that I can’t explain, nor can I seem to remedy? I feel like I should feel better than I feel. But here I am.
Maybe it’s because I have to do 15 minutes of stand up on Saturday night. First time in a year, and I don’t feel funny. I suppose I could just do a monologue from The Bear, seeing as it swept the rooms of all the comedy awards. 4 decades of doing comedy and I’m now being told to believe that drama is straight up comedy. “orange is red now!” Comedy is dead to Hollywood, at a time when DARE I SAY we need it most. And deserves it’s own awards, cuz that shit is hard.
Maybe I should keep all this to myself because I am usually a glass-half-full gal. Guzzle it away with some….aw crap, I don’t really drink.
Nah.
I think I need to say it all out loud to let some air out of my tire that feels like it is about to burst on the 405 during rush hour which is every minute of everyday here in Los Angeles!!
And how are you doing?
I swear to God, this too shall pass. This too shall pass if you let it.
I just seriously hope it doesn’t pass into the final phase of the upside we seem to have been existing in for far too long now. Thoughts and prayers.
I can’t leave you like this. Digging out of the dirt, like me. Seems rude.
Here’s some good stuff.
Maybe there’s hope because someone as brave and heroic as E. Jean Carroll took on the monster and won. We can feast on this victory bone for a WHILE!
Maybe Putin will stand too close to an open window and a fine gust of karmic wind will thrust his cowardly ass out to the cold, hard ground below. Taylor Swift will write a song called “Good Riddance” and the world will sing along exuberantly…except for the weeping MAGA.
Maybe I will submit an hour long, laugh out loud series for the DRAMA category and win, because two should be able to play this game, right? Red IS orange today…
Maybe one day soon, America will see a progressive female President. Period.
Maybe I will have a hilarious 15 minute set on Saturday night, and will succeed in at least making a room laugh, and that adrenaline rush will be the very cure for all my weirdo aches and pains. Why not?!
It has to get better. It just has to. Just really realizing today that “better” comes from all of us. We cannot rely on our institutions to have our backs all the time. We cannot trust humanity will take the hand of its better angels…all the time. We cannot predict outcomes like we once used to.
Life is a serious balancing act, and today more than ever, the net below is frayed.
Hang in there. (I’m talking to myself here too)
I hope you’re getting through this winter alright.
Maybe it’s time to buy a sled and go to the mountains.
XOMo
Women should run the world. Absolutely. Just watched 1960's NEVER ON SUNDAY. In it, the women (all together, simultaneously) stand up to the men controlling their lives and making it hellacious... and cut rent from 180 to 90. Lysistrata! DON'T YOU EVER STOP BELIEVING IN YOUR VOICE OR YOUR VISION. The entire universe needs you!
Mo, I feel it. All of it. We can't let this happen. Orange Shit Bag and his demons have to be beaten. I don't want to live in Trumpkorearussia. I want to livelaughlove and be kind. Been doing a lot of cathartic screaming in my car. We must hang in there .