The tree is up! Undecorated, but it is UP! Early, yes. I’m good with that. So are a lot of people, I am seeing!
And why shouldn’t we? Why delay joy? There has been a shortage in the world. I think wherever we can find it, we should shine a lot on it and celebrate it. It highlights why we fight so hard for others who don’t have it. Who are suffering. If we ourselves forget what joy is, how will we know what to seek for others?
Is this an excuse for me? A way to push back on guilt? Maybe. MAYBE! But I think there’s something to it.
I love Christmas trees. Always have. I fall deeply IN LOVE with them. ( I actually love all trees. I vibe on them. Where “tree hugger” can be used as a type, I m literally…a treehugger).
One Christmas Eve afternoon when I was around 10, my Mom decided our tree was too dry and “had to go”. ON CHRISTMAS EVE!!!! This moment was akin to saying to me, we are going to plunge a knife into the heart of a puppy and be done with it. I didn’t handle it well! We had dressed it up, ogled its beauty, only to say NOPE!! You don’t get to join us for the party!
Tossed away was the love we had already poured int it! Our family had laid around, under its glow, and brought it into our family! This was an outrage! Cruel! Perhaps even worse than the time Mom flushed 3 goldfish down the toilet because ONE was dead!! Trauma comes in all forms, doesn’t it?
Down to the street it went. Naked and afraid.
I went with Mom to get another tree. There were very few left. It was like visiting the animal shelter, on Christmas Eve. Sad. My heart was broken. I wanted to take them all home.
There is no such thing as an imperfect tree as far as I’m concerned. Charlie Brown had it right. I picked one and it came home with us. I wanted to cover the eyes of the discarded tree down the driveway as we pulled up. I couldn’t bear the idea of one feeling less than the other.
We decorated the tree, and of course I loved it. Of course! It was a Christmas tree! It was a TREE! My little heart had great capacity for love. I don’t think that has changed much.
This tree got to see the quiet beauty of my sweet family gathered around opening gifts on Christmas Eve. One person at a time. Each gift got its moment. All the oohs and ahhhs, even if you were faking it. Amazing how much love a set of socks from K-Mart could elicit from my family. Lord, we were cute. The gratitude was real. Everything felt soft. Safe. I was so lucky.
I am lucky.
I have a tree up in my house. I HAVE a home. A roof over my head. My family is healthy and well loved. We eat well. We have choices. We can’t complain, and we don’t.
Went to a tree decorating party at our good friend’s beautiful home this weekend. The first Holiday party! So normal. So lucky! And there’s more to come. They say tomorrow is not promised, and indeed that is true. But I would bet right now that we’ll see ourselves through this season without issue. Without trauma. (I could be wrong, and knock wood this doesn’t turn ironic!) We are lucky.
TOO many cannot say the same in the world right now.
I’m going to hold my joy tight for them this year. I am going to wish for them all to experience the soft, quiet safety that I have. I am going to be grateful for my joy, as it is a scarce commodity. Do I have flare ups of anxiety? Absolutely. I believe that is the vibrations of our troubled world passing through me. We all live in this energy. We’re on the same rock.
Put a tree in your home, if you have one. Never mind the religion of it. Fill it with joy. Share it with friends and family.
We can still consider what has been put to the curb. We can still care for those who are not inside, cold, uncomfortable, in pain. We can do both. I guess what I’m saying is: don’t forego your own joy because the world is a hotspot. Perhaps our happiness is the balance needed. Perhaps.
I continued to visit the tree on the curb until it was gone. I still have not forgotten that tree. I have kept a piece of my Christmas trees all through the years. A silly pile of wood, but I love it. (pictured are a few of them)
Be hopeful for those who are suffering. Take action to see people get help. Take joy where you find it as well. Like the oxygen masks on planes tell us, we must put on our own mask first before helping others.
I wish an abundance of joy to you, as I wish it for myself.
XOMo
Oh I love this!!! There is nothing more soul soothing than sitting in the dark with only the soft glow of the Christmas tree lights. I have a friend who leaves a tree up year round, fake mind you, but she decorates it according to different holidays/seasons. You're right about the vibrations of this world passing through us and leaving an echo in it's wake. Though we may all be in different boats and in different parts of the ocean, we are all going through the same storm. All I can try and do is offer my boat or a life raft when I see or feel someone sinking or faltering in the storm. And as hard as it is, may we find joy each day, even in the simplicity of a text from a friend.
Beautiful! Joy is so powerful and contagious!